Operations Planner
«  »

A personal perspective: Are you happy ????

publication date: Dec 18, 2013
author/source: John Hogan, VIVEK DMELLO,

Watch this video and reflect for a moment.

Then read the following short story and reflect again.

On a certain occasion, during an elegant welcoming reception for the new Director of Marketing of an important London company, some of the wives of the other Directors, who wanted to get acquainted with the new spouse, asked her with some hesitation “ Does your spouse make you happy, truly happy’?”

The husband , who at the moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation,  sitting up and slightly feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride, knowing that his spouse would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage. Nevertheless , both to his and their surprise,  she replied simply, “No, no, he doesn’t make me happy…”

The room became uncomfortably silent as if everyone were listening to the spouse’s response.  The husband was petrified.   He could not believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him.   To the amazement of her husband and of everyone,  she simply placed enigmatically on her head an elegant black scarf and continued. “ No , he doesn’t make me happy…. I am Happy”

”The fact that I am happy or not does not depend on him, but on me.

I am the only person upon which my happiness depends.   I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life.  If my happiness were to depend on others people, on other things or other circumstances on the face of the earth, I would be in serious trouble!!!     Everything that exists in this life changes continually: humans, wealth, my body, climate, pleasures, etc. I could enumerate an infinite list…”

“Over my life, I have learned a couple of things: I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of experiences or circumstances like helping, and understanding, accepting, listening, consoling and with my spouse I have lived and practiced this many times….

Happiness will always be found in forgiveness and in loving yourself and others.     It is not the responsibility of my spouse to make me happy.   He also has his                “ experiences or circumstances”.   I love him and he loves me, often in spite of his circumstances and of mine.”

“ He changes,  I change,  the environment changes, everything changes.            Having forgiveness and true love, and observing these changes that can be, big or little, but always happen, we must face them with love that exists in each one of us.     If the two of us love and forgive each other, the changes will only be “experiences or circumstances” that enrich us and give us strength.  Otherwise, we would only be ‘ Living together.’    For some, DIVORCE is the only solution  (….in reality it is the easiest..)   To truly love,  is difficult.   It is to forgive unconditionally, to live to take experiences or circumstances as they are,  facing them together and being happy with conviction.

There are those who say, I cannot be happy

  • because I am sick
  • because I have no money
  • because its too cold
  • because they have insulted me
  • because someone stopped loving me
  • because someone didn’t appreciate me ”

Reality is what you do not know.

It is that you can be happy even though you are sick, whether it is too hot, whether you have money or not, whether someone insulted you, or someone did not love you or has not valued you.





Being happy …  depends upon you

Search the Site